Good Enough
by Kristen R
Summary: After she recovers from her "Beer Bad" incident, Buffy sees Xander differently.


Good Enough   
By Kristen

**DISCLAIMER: **All the characters and locations belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. The song "Good Enough" belongs to Sarah McLachlan. Basically I own nothing here, so don't sue!

**SPOILERS: **Season 4 through "Beer Bad"

* * *

"Hey, Xander."

"No."

"What?"

"No beer. Beer baaaaaddddd."

"It's okay. I'm all recovered from my journey to the center of the keg."

"Oh. Good." He placed a coaster in front of her. "So what can I get you? Perhaps a light?" He leaned forward and flicked his lighter. "Wanna tell me about your problems, little lady?"

Buffy reached forward and covered his hand with her own. "No. I wanted to thank you."

Xander looked around in confusion as if to say "Who, me?" The simple gesture almost broke Buffy's heart. She surprised them both by reaching across the bar and grabbing Xander. She hugged him tightly.

"Okay, Slayer Strength hurt Mortal Boy."

She laughed and released him.

"Sorry, Xand. I forget sometimes…"

"That you can bend steel with your bare hands?" He smiled reassuringly. "It happens. Just so I'm clear…what am I being thanked so vigorously for?"

Buffy sat back down on her barstool and gave him a long, considering look.

"You know I came here to thank you for the whole beer thing. Cutting me off, making sure I got home okay, all of it. But now I feel like I should be thanking you for more than that."

"Hey, you don't have to-"

"No, I think I do. Because I'm not sure I ever have before. You're always there when I need you. Even when you'd be better off being somewhere else."

Xander turned away in embarrassment and busied himself putting fresh glasses out on the shelf.

"I don't do that stuff looking for thanks."

"I know."

He turned back to her in surprise. She smiled at him and he couldn't help the answering grin that sprang to his lips. He set down two glasses and poured them sodas.

"So, now that you've gotten that out of the way, what are your plans for the rest of the evening?"

Buffy shrugged and sipped her drink. "I don't know. Maybe I'll just hang out here for a while."

"Planning on tormenting yourself watching Parker and his latest conquest, huh?"

She shook her head. "No. I thought you might like some company while you were working."

"Oh." He was at a loss. "Um…I'm done at 10 tonight. I could help you patrol?"

"That's sweet, Xand, but I'm sure you must have more productive uses of your time than helping me slay the things that go bump in the night."

"Can't think of one."

Buffy laughed. "You and I are a couple of party animals, huh?"

"In our defense, parties around here always end badly, as I'm sure you've noticed."

"Yeah, I'm familiar with the Hellmouth's response to chip and dip."

They talked for a while, a light easy banter, as Xander filled drink orders and tidied up the bar. They broke off as an upperclassman came over, interrupting their conversation. He ordered a pitcher of beer and proceeded to hit on Buffy. She tried to fend him off politely. 

Xander placed the pitcher and glasses down on the bar and eyed the young man. He was inviting Buffy to join him and his classmates. He glanced over at the group of young men and women seated at one of the tables laughing. They weren't drunk and they seemed to be having a good time.

Maybe this one might be a decent guy. > 

"It's okay, Buffy. Go ahead. Have some fun." He inclined his head towards the student. "Just lay off the foamy stuff."

"See? Even the bartender wants you to come sit with us."

Buffy whirled around in fury. "Which part of 'I'm not interested' did you miss? And as for the bartender, he has a name. It's *Xander*. Try using it next time, you pompous ass. Now get lost."

The young man simply blinked at her, dumbfounded. Wordlessly, he picked up the beer and glasses and retreated to his corner table.

"You know, next time you might want to knock him unconscious before removing his head from his shoulders."

"He was a jerk." She narrowed her eyes at him. "And so are you. Pawning me off like that. If you wanted me to go, you could've just said so."

"No!" He replied forcefully. He got stares from others sitting at the bar and lowered his voice. "No. I just thought you could do with a little fun."

"I am having fun."

"Oh yeah."

"No I mean it." She flashed a brief smile. "It's not dancing on the bar kind of fun-"

"Which I would have no objection to-"

"But I'm enjoying sitting here and talking to you."

"Me too." He glanced at his watch. "Hey, it's just about 10! Let me tell the big guy I'm taking off and we can hit the patrol circuit."

She stood up and began to gather her things. The student who had been hitting on her earlier approached again, his arms up in mock surrender.

"Hi. Me again. I just wanted to apologize…for before. I didn't realize that you and…Xander?" At her nod, he continued. "I didn't know you guys were together. I would've never bothered you if I did."

"We're not…I mean…it's okay. I overreacted." She smiled sheepishly, embarrassed now by her outburst. "How about we just forget the whole thing?" 

He nodded eagerly, relieved. "Great! Thanks!"

Whoa. What was that? Why did I let him think Xander and I are an item? >

Xander came out from the back room and walked over to Buffy.

"You ready to blow this place?" He paused for a moment. "Of course, I meant that figuratively. I think we've *actually* blown up enough stuff to last us a lifetime."

"Yeah. I'm suddenly feeling the need to pummel some bad guys." Issues, much? >

"Then let's go find you some."

They walked for a long while in companionable silence. Buffy was lost in her thoughts. So lost that she didn't hear the vampire approaching behind them until it was too late. He grabbed Buffy and shoved her hard to the side. She fell and hit her head on a nearby headstone as she went down.

She looked up dazedly as the vamp grabbed Xander around the throat and began shaking him. Xander tried to fight him off but he couldn't dislodge the hands crushing his windpipe. She shook her head to clear it and crawled across the grass, retrieving her fallen stake.

The vampire moved his mouth toward Xander's jugular and then suddenly disappeared in a puff of ash. Xander sighed in relief and dropped down onto the ground.

"You are my hero."

Buffy knelt next to him checking to make sure he was okay.

"You know you've said that before." She could already see the ugly bruises forming around his neck. "Does it hurt a lot?"

"I've been choked before. I'll get over it." He reached a shaky hand up to touch his forehead and discovered he was bleeding. "Ouch."

"Wait. I have tissues." She pulled out a tissue from her pocket and pressed it against the cut.

"So what did I say before?"

Buffy looked at him, perplexed, and then her face cleared in recollection.

"Oh. You said I was your hero. Tonight makes twice. Though I have to admit, I'd rather you not be in need of a hero. As in, I'd rather you weren't in danger."

"But where's the fun in that?"

"I mean it, Xander! You could get hurt." Her other hand reached up to push back the hair falling down over his forehead. Her face was a mixture of concern, fear and something else Xander couldn't quite place.

"Hey! Don't worry about me."

"Someone needs to."

Her hand rested against his cheek. He unconsciously leaned into the caress.

"I couldn't stand for anything to happen to you."

Xander swallowed nervously and attempted a joke to break the sudden tension. "Buff! I didn't know you cared."

Buffy didn't say anything. She just kept staring back at him with that unfathomable look. Finally, she leaned closer and whispered softly. "I'm not sure that *I* knew how much I cared until tonight."

She pressed her lips to his softly, testing the waters. Xander lifted a hand to rest at her waist and tentatively kissed her back.

Okay maybe that vamp really did kill me. I must be in heaven. >

Buffy broke off the kiss and pulled back to look at him in uncertainty.

Or possibly hell. >

She slid her fingers across his cheek and along his jaw. Her thumb rubbed across his bottom lip. And all the while her gaze was fixed upon his. He felt like she was searching for something. Whatever it was, she must have found it, as her lips curved upwards. She wrapped an arm around Xander's neck and kissed him again.

As Buffy pressed herself against him, her senses were filled with something that felt so warm and right and so … Xander, her stomach did a slow somersault. She parted her lips and sighed against his mouth as the kiss deepened.

A long while later, they pulled apart breathing heavily. Xander lay back in the grass with Buffy curled up next to him, her head resting on his chest.

Wow. What was that? >

"Wow. What was that?"

Buffy lifted her head, resting her chin on Xander's chest. "I haven't the slightest idea." She grinned. "But I liked it."

He smiled back and stroked her hair softly. "Me too."

"I feel so dumb."

"Why?"

"I spent all this time being mopey over that idiot. Thinking what happened was my fault-"

"Don't. You were too good for that jerk." He laughed. "Hell, you're too good for *me*."

She shook her head as she sat up. She took his face in her hands and said firmly, "Don't ever say that. If anyone's not good enough-"

He cut her off. "How about we say we're good enough for each other?"

"I like that."

**_Good Enough_**   
_By Sarah McLachlan_

_Hey your glass is empty, it's a hell of a long way to home._   
_Why don't you let me take you? It's no good to go alone._   
_I never would have opened up but you seemed so real to me,_   
_After all the bullshit I've heard, it's refreshing not to see._   
_I don't have to pretend, she doesn't expect it from me._

_So don't tell me I haven't been good to you,_   
_Don't tell me I haven't been there for you,_   
_Just tell me why nothing is good enough._

_Hey little girl would you like some candy, your momma said that it's ok._   
_The door is open come on outside. No, I can't come out today,_   
_It's not the wind that cracked your shoulder and threw you to the ground,_   
_Who's there that makes you so afraid you've shaken to the bone?_   
_You know I don't understand, you deserve so much more than this._

_So don't tell me why he's never been good to you,_   
_Don't tell me why he's never been there for you,_   
_And I'll tell you that why is simply not good enough._   
_So just let me try and I will be good to you_   
_Just let me try and I will be there for you._   
_I'll show you why you're so much more than good enough._


End file.
